Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Here We Go Again, V 2.1 - A Radical New @#%& Idea

Okay, so, maybe it's not so radical to YOU, Dear Reader, but it's new to me.  Not the concept itself, but the idea of embracing and implementing it myself.

The Thing Is: 

  • my @#%& [back] lawn dies every year about midsummer, if not before. 
  • my @#%& lawn is like 95% weeds and grassy weeds.  I'm fine with that, but one of my dogs is *horribly* allergic to grass, as it turns out. 
  • over half of my @#%& lawn is also covered with plants that make stickers, this year. WTF. 
  • She's also *horribly* allergic to fleas, which flourish in my @#%& lawn, between the humidity, the weeds, and the neighbor's dog and @#%& lawn, neither of which are taken care of.
  • By some twist of Fate, I am not ever allowed to have a lawnmower that works.  If I have one, it breaks after only a month or two.  For the most part, for the past ten years, I've "mown" my @#%& lawn with a frikking weedeater.  Which is great for upper body strength, but it's a @#%& pain in the ass. 
  • I once saw my friend, musician Alyse Black, perform at a house concert in a woman's backyard, which was enormous and beautifully landscaped to accommodate audiences at the house concerts she hosted regularly.  And it's had me thinking, ever since that day. 

I'm thinking I might just say to hell with my @#%& lawn and implement a lawn-free landscape in my backyard.  What little grass I have left, between the moisture-sucking and carrotlike surface roots of my mulberry tree (which are actually pretty neat)  and the shade it casts over most of the yard (hallelujah, finally some shade!), as well as the fact that the rest of the yard is literally in FULL sun from sunup to sundown 365 days a year...well, it's basically crabgrass and whatever native weedy grasses are willing to grow in those conditions.  On one hand, that's great, because what I was given when my house was built was Bermuda Grass, to which I am allergic; but OTOH, as I said, my dogs are allergic to the "grass" I have now and to the bugses it harbours.  


So I'm Thinking...

Maxipark Piet Oudolf (via Pinterest) 

Pinterest

GardenCollection.com, via Pinterest
I *adore* circular paved areas like this. 

My old patio garden, before the grass grew in between the
stones.  I've been dismantling it for the past year, because
it was settling so badly that it was a trip hazard. 
Large, sweeping areas of mulched beds. 


And, aside from the plants themselves (would it be wrong of me to host a party and charge an admission price of one garden plant per guest?  Heehee), I could re-landscape my entire backyard for absolutely free, if I wanted to.


Things That Are Free: 
  • pallets
  • rocks
  • mulch 
  • manual labor
  • newspapers
  • compost (I make my own)
  • compost food (from neighbors, who may even pay me to rake their lawns and cart off the detritus?)
  • my Quickrete Walkmaker, which I used to make my old patio, and still have hanging on the wall in my garage. 
  • a pair of 6' black metal trellises, which used to live on the open end of my porch 
  • a black iron trellis (used to be a headboard), that has recently become available, because one of my asshole dogs dug up the Sweet Autumn Clematis that was on it, completely killing the plant.  >:[ 

Even Some of the Plants: 
  • wildflowers (hand-collected seed, where allowed by law)
  • transplants and divisions from other parts of my property (I'm up to HERE with Yarrow, garlic chives, Irises, and Amarcrinums) 

Things To Consider: 


If I decide to develop this, implementation will be a long ways off.  Unless I get really excited about it and start collecting free things on a regular basis.  I've been bringing home a short stack of pallets every week lately, for a patio/deck project I'm going to start working on soon (aaaany minute now, I swear).  

A Few of the Things I Want To Keep In Mind: 
  • Dogs eat wood. 
  • Gravel and/or rocks/rock chips are sharp on dog toes, and potentially REALLY hot in the summer sun.  From my own past experience, I also know that rocks migrate when you're not looking, no matter how hard you try to contain them. 
  • Weed supression is the first step, no matter what I end up doing. 
  • Erosion control is essential to the plan, in my sloping yard. 
  • I want vegetables integrated into the entire landscape, not just in a devoted plot (although there would be a dedicated vegetable section). 
  • More privacy options, plz? 
  • Dog-safe plants


I'll let you know how the @#%& plan develops. 


.


Tuesday, May 6, 2014

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Hey, check it out, guys, I'm selling my artwork!

Visit   my new Etsy shop

Shop now! 

What: 
  • soft pastel drawings and sketches
  • acrylic paintings
  • available framed or un-framed
Why?  
  • Because where the hell would I hang dozens of drawings and paintings?  I must make it...therefore eventually, I must sell it. 
When:
  • Right now! Go buy art!   
For updates and new product info: